How can all these things mix together?

How can all these things mix together: expectation, love, hurt, misunderstanding, care, and disappointment?

This is a description of my inner feeling. I realized that not long ago I loved and cared about the ppl so much, and I expected too much on them. I felt bad that I might have given them a harsh time. Therefore, I tried to be more easy going, giving them more freedom and room. On the other hand, I was observing their growth on the sideway. I was thinking that I finally got it. But I was wrong. Some people don't think the way you think, and they don't always understand you!!! People don't always receive my pure serving heart, and give you respect in return. I am hurt and disappointed.

A friend of mine realized that I was serving over actively. That's true. Because I had this urge to construct an ideal fellowship with bro/sis. Can you imagine how beautiful the picture will be like when we (all members of Horeb) work hard together, and achieve the common goal. But since yesterday, I become more and more confused about this goal. Is it only my ideal fellowship? Is it only my own goal?

Carmen once has said, "I wonder love and hurt always goes together, once prepare to love, prepare to take hurt...This is the way I see Jesus' life, come to this point, I think He is really brave. " Jesus is brave with no doubt. Can I be another brave sister ? I really doubt it!!!